My Vabali spa review: I loved it! Here’s an extremely detailed trip report. 

Every traveler has their thing: I have an ex-boyfriend who loved aquariums so much that the first time I visited one without him, on a press trip to Curacao, I literally cried as a visibly dismayed representative from the country’s tourism board led my weeping form from dolphin tank to animal experience, from snorkel site to coral display. My thing is not aquariums: My thing is saunas — there’s no better way to get over jetlag!!! or general world-weariness! — and I am happy to say that I am only recently returned from the #1 sauna in Berlin, at least according to some strenuous googling: Vabali. I recommend it most highly, and I recommend it even after spending more time waiting to get in (3 hours) than I did in the actual saunas and spas (2.5 hours). It’s fantastic.

My trip started badly, and if my Vabali spa review focused on this part of the day, I would have given it zero stars. I left my hotel without my ID, and I called the spa en route to see if I’d be allowed in without one. No one picked up even after I tried a half-dozen times (boo!), so I went back to retrieve my passport — and realized I’d made a reservation for the wrong day. Because my Berlin schedule was very tight, I had to choose between showing up without one and forgoing the entire thing. Based on the let’s say “alarming” advisories I found online to definitely not go to Vabali without a res, I was prepared to be turned away at the door — instead, I found a line of about 25 people to the left of the spa’s entrance. People with a reservation could walk right in, with absolutely no waiting. Those of us without one moved so slowly I honestly think a literal snail would have outpaced us: It took nearly three hours for me to make it inside, and many more people simply quit and went elsewhere than stayed — I would say that 15 people ahead of me gave up, while 10 got in. The line was friendly, though, and people were happy to share information in English, as they stood above absolutely ginormous bags packed with all their spa-going goods: towels, flip-flops, books, snacks, etc. (Outside food is officially not permitted, but I saw plenty of it, and no one seemed to be policing it.) The staff kept a tight eye on the line, and allowed people (like me) inside to use the bathroom. At one point, I fell asleep. As lines go, it could have been worse. (As it was, I was a little unlucky — I did go during a quiet time of day (mid-morning, mid-week), but during the Toussaint school holidays (or whatever the German equivalent of Toussaint is — Allerheiligen? IDK?). People around me confirmed it was busier than usual.

Unlike my IKEA bag-toting co-line-ists, I brought nothing but a book and a phone (the latter of which I was required to leave in the locker room — the whole complex is device-free), so I rented two towels and a robe, and I bought, as required, a pair of incredibly uncomfortable thongs. (I would have been fine with a bath towel from the hotel, but I didn’t know that, and much happier in my own Havaianas.) I opted for the women-only changing room (there’s a mixed one as well) and a locker in view of a security camera (I’m still not sure why I was asked about this — maybe because it meant that I would also be in view of it? I asked but didn’t get a clear answer.) So off I went, with a Swatch-like wristband that would record my time spent there — you stay as long as you like, and pay based on that — as well as any purchases at the café and would provide access to my locker.

The complex is huge: There are 10 saunas, three steam baths, and four pools, of various temperatures and sizes. I was most excited about the birch sauna (158° F, the one that best resembled a traditional Finnish sauna) and those with “infusions,” where staff add scent (like eucalyptus, coffee, etc.) to the mix. Infusions are added as posted (on giant, summer camp-style schedules, only in German) and at regularly intervals. From their FAQ: “Timetables are posted conspicuously throughout the facility.” This is true.

I went first to the Panorama Sauna (also 158° F), with one wall made of glass — it provided a full overview of the complex, especially the open-air, hot water pool. It was also a good place to consider German spa-going code of conduct: The whole place is “textile-free” (read: no swimsuits, anywhere), though most people covered up, as expected/required, behind a towel while walking around. Once in the sauna, everyone is pretty fully naked — most people either position their towel horizontally, and lay down on top of it, or vertically, so that they sit on the bench and put their feet below them (still on the towel). I found the rules to be a tiny bit looser than my last German spa-going experience, in Baden-Baden, where a woman had snapped at me when I sat vertically on a horizontally situated towel, leaving my bare feet on the wood beneath me. There was still plenty of censure to go around, and chatting was shushed with force and certainty.

I was too focused on sitting in as many extremely hot rooms as possible to get something to eat, but both the café and the restaurant looked nice. (The menu at the latter is Asian/Mediterranean with local nods: fried salmon “wok bowls,” truffle gnocchi with green asparagus, Alsatian tarte flambée, etc.) The complex is half indoors, half out and open all seasons, which meant that on my visit, at the very tail end of October, there were naked Germans stretched out on lounge chairs scattered around the very autumnal/slightly funereal grounds, like Saltburn X The Grand Budapest Hotel. I didn’t spend much time in the large outdoor pool — though I preferred it to the indoor one, which felt a little small and on my three pass-throughs featured three separate couples engaged in what I, as a prudish American, found overly close contact. Both signs and the spa guidelines warned against it (“Please limit physical displays of affection.”) I can say that: a) it was more than I’d ever seen at a spa previously, b) it was still only a handful of instances, and c) it didn’t make me “uncomfortable” or “unsafe.” I think this is more a thing in Germany than it is elsewhere I’ve been to spas (including Bali), as it popped up in at least one Vabali spa review I read online, and more often in reviews of other Berlin spots, like Liquidrom. Culture is  interesting!

My last stop at Vabali was an infusion experience — it was advertised as involving fresh fruit but the scent added was tangerine and coffee (yay for the former, boo for the latter). The sauna was absolutely packed, and an attendant came in exactly on time with instructions and more. (At the end she asked if anyone wanted a repeat in English, and I said in the smallest possible voice, in front of 100 people “ja” (lol), which the Germans around me repeated more loudly — love them for that!) She added mounds of scented ice to the sauna rocks, and then beat a towel into the air, spreading both the scent and the most intense heat ever — I told someone it was as hot as my oven gets on the pizza setting (lol? what??), which on inspection when I returned home is about 200 degrees hotter than it was in the sauna, but still — if you’d told me it was 500° F in there, I absolutely would have believed it.) I actually thought about leaving — why else had we gone to the trouble of asking her to repeat her speech in English if not for the advisory to “heed your body and exit if you should!” But I didn’t want to be the American chicken, so I sat there and waited it out, and it was amazing, and as it turned out, the fresh fruit (frozen mango (juice? I think) on sticks) was offered at the door.

When I left, I said to myself that I wouldn’t go back without a reservation — that it was great but not worth three hours of wait time — but now, four days later, I totally would. My last-word Vabali spa review is that I totally loved it and if you’re thinking about going, you should.

Vabali
Seydlitzstraße 6, 10557 Berlin
+49309114860 (though I wouldn’t bother calling?? IDK, they were super nice once I got there.) 

Total spent: $47 (this would have been about half that if I’d brought my own towel and shoes — when you know better, you do better). I stayed for three minutes over two hours.

Findings:
1) Make a reservation!!!
2) Bring own towel/flip flops if poss
3) Seek out the infusion schedule and other special little offerings (like sound baths and “peelings), they’re worth it
4) Spend all day here!! Worth it.

Final Vabali spa review: 4.8 stars out of 5 (-.2 for the phone policy).